From Indecision to Action: The Lightness in the Rightness
Do you have a tendency to procrastinate?
In a recent conversation with a client, we were talking about the tendency to procrastinate — procrastinate making decisions, acting on them, putting off those things you know you want to do, thinking you don’t know what it is you want and so not acting, not having what you want, etc.
The conversation became something I wanted to share with you. Here is a peak into part of that conversation.
Reflection
As human beings, we do well when we have reflection — honest self-reflection and reflection from another — especially when done without judgment.
One of the many benefits of an intimate, committed relationship (romantic, friendship and otherwise), is that you have someone who is your mirror, and will reflect back to you what they see; it’s the person that can give you the deepest and most valuable reflection. This is the one who sees you as your BEST self, and as your WORST self. We can’t help but for this to be true.
Done without judgment, reflection is as an area of great potential . . . potential for:
- Knowing yourself, who you want to be, and being that;
- Knowing how you come across to others;
- Knowing what you want;
- Knowing that you deserve it;
- Knowing how to go for it;
- And having – yes, having the life of your dreams.
How Can You Have it if you Don’t Take Action Towards It?
There are sooooo many reasons we hesitate to take that action. Taking “new” action means change. Something, if not everything in your life could change after you take that action you’ve thought about, even longed for.
Not taking action, as you know if you’ve been reading my stuff, studied or listened to me, is often because you don’t “yet” have the neural pathway for being that next version of you, the you who actually took that action and is living into that next version of who you are. Here’s another reason change doesn’t happen —
Sometimes you don’t want the consequences of that action. That means for whatever the reason, you’re just not ready. That’s another story . . .
If and when you’re ready for that change, for that “next” life, you take the steps.
The journey starts with knowing who you are at the deepest level.
The Lightness in the Rightness
In my current move from Colorado to Oregon, in this current journey of change, whenever I am feeling overwhelmed with the struggle and pain of deciding, letting go of stuff, packing, etc., I remember the rightness of this decision.
When I remember that, I feel lighter. Thus, my new mantra —
I invite you to use that around decisions.
In my recent blog, “The Pace of Change: Step into the River — with Both Feet,” I talked about the difference between having one foot in a fast moving river and the other other struggling to be firmly planted on the water’s edge . . . versus, stepping into the river with both feet.
There is such a difference in ease, flow and momentum when you step into the river of change with both feet! Having done it both ways, I can attest to the truth of that!
The Deciding Part is Over!
Remembering that I’m all-in, two feet in the river, causes me to remember that the “deciding” part is over!
There’s a firmness in the molecules of your body when you get that. And then — you’re ready to take action on it. When you accept that the deciding part is over, action flows!
From Indecision to Action
When you stay in the realm of “decision,” your life doesn’t change.
I firmly believe that to have our best possible life, we do need to be able to embody the gifts of all nine Enneagram types. (Click here if you want to know more about what that means or how to do it!)
Why is this relevant here?
Of all the nine types, type Eight epitomizes what it means to listen to and honor your gut knowing, to make easy and quick decisions, and, most relevant in this moment, the ability to take action.
From the Fog of Indecision to “I Can See Clearly Now”
This fog is another reason the decision is procrastinated, and without decision, there is no direct, focused action.
I know this place well!, and have spent much more time than I want to admit thinking I “didn’t know” the answer to some big and important questions. The place of indecision is an uncomfortable place to sit. Another image I have is straddling a barbed wire fence, unable to go one way or the other.
When I finally “saw” my next step, there was such clarity, accompanied by such relief, and of course, finally, action!
That’s when I heard Holly Cole singing, “I Can See Clearly Now” (written by Johnny Nash). It became my “go-to” song that I listened to on repeat for a long time! Here are the first few lines of that song; notice the relief at the end!
I can see clearly now the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day
If you’ve struggled with the cloud of indecision, don’t you long for that “bright sunshiny day?” Well, it’s possible!
The “How did you Know” Questions
Surely, there were moments in your life when you simply knew. You knew what you were to do next, you knew what you wanted, you didn’t have that cloud of indecision.
When you find yourself in that cloud again, or procrastinating, thinking you “don’t know,” etc., try some “How did you know” questions.
Ask yourself:
- How did you KNOW you wanted to be a <fill in the blank>?
- How did you KNOW what you wanted when <fill in the blank>?
- How did you KNOW you wanted to go on vacation to <fill in the blank>?
- How did you KNOW you wanted to marry, divorce, date someone?
- How did you KNOW you wanted to go to college, major in a particular field, etc.?
- How did you KNOW (recall other times you knew something in your bones)?
Feel it in Your Bones!
What did those “knowing” moments feel like in your body? These answers can be your guide to decisions about what’s next now.
When you know what you want and yet the action steps don’t happen, many say, “I’m trying.”
Here is a definition of “trying” — it’s wanting acknowledgment for something you know you won’t do!
If you want the life you want, if you want the change you say you want, YOU HAVE TO TAKE ACTION!
You can plan it out, revise the plan and research it and it still may never happen.
What about NOW?
After my cancer diagnosis (no, it’s not recent — it was in 2002), this became crystal clear to me:
Life is too short to not going for your dreams NOW, because NOW is the only time you have.
If you’re stuck in the hamster wheel of indecision, let’s talk about what it’ll take to get you into action!
Here’s to dedicated right action for the life of your dreams!
The land of indecision is dark, foggy, tough and frustrating.
If you’re tired of it and ready to move forward and take action, let’s talk!
Click here to schedule some time with me or comment below.
