The Pendulum Learning Curve, Part 1

The Pendulum Learning Curve, Part 1

I’ve witnessed it so many times that I’ve given it a name — The Pendulum Learning Curve.

The most common pendulum pattern I’ve seen is around anger, especially in people who are “spiritual.” They often say, “I’m not an angry person; I want to keep the peace so I’ll just hold it in and won’t say anything about it; it’ll pass,” or something like that.

If that sounds familiar to you, you know that it doesn’t solve the problem, doesn’t help the relationship with the person who made you angry, and you end up carrying growing resentment.

The desire to preserve your connection with that person prevents you from expressing your anger because you don’t want to harm that relationship. It’s understandable, but it doesn’t work. Because, chances are, whatever happened will happen again, and the accumulation of your hurt and anger will grow.

Holding it in and not saying anything would be at the end of the pendulum swing we’ll call “under-expressing” anger. Avoidance doesn’t solve the problem.

This is most often seen with people who are one of the withdrawn types, Type Four (The Individualist), Five (The Observer) or Nine (The Peacemaker) or those with a high red score for Four, Five or Nine in their chart (you can see your scores by taking the EQ quiz at EQQuiz.com).

Eventually, you can’t contain it anymore and you may lash out, either at the person who made you angry or even worse, at someone who had nothing to do with it. Oftentimes it’s with those we are closest to and love the most.

The other end of the pendulum swing is “over-expressing” your anger. This is most often seen in the more assertive types, Types Three (The Achiever), Seven (The Enthusiast) and Eight (The Challenger), or those with a high red score for Three, Seven or Eight in their chart. This is also ineffective.

It does not invite curiosity, a solution, or a conversation to promote understanding. They may dig their heels in and hold onto their stance unwilling or unable to listen to the other’s perspective. It has the result of pushing people away, even unintentionally. And it doesn’t resolve the conflict, there is no new insight or understanding, so chances are, it’ll happen again.

Obviously, neither approach works.

If you want to talk about where you are on your “pendulum learning curve,” click here to schedule a call with me.

See more in the next blog!


Please post your comments and questions — they’re always welcome!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Need help? See all of the options below or contact us directly!

Enneagram eBook

FREE! The Enneagram Guide

Get this quick start on the 9 Enneagram types.  Learn about each type at a glance and how they are useful at different times.  Find out if you have the range, ability and flexibility to move between the types…that’s Emotional Intelligence!

CONNECT

  • Andrea@Andrea-Isaacs.com
  • (518) 265-5058
  • 1067 S Hover Unit E #155, Longmont, CO 80501

Tell us where to send your webinar replay information below

THE WHAT WHY AND HOW OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

YES! Secure my spot for ...

EQ-X Live: Emotional Intelligence with the Embodied Enneagram

Sign up to receive relevant, occassional informational and promotional emails and your complimentary access to EQ-X Live 
We will protect your information per our privacy policy

YES -- I'm ready to claim my EQ TOOLKIT

Sign up to take the quiz and receive relevant, occassional informational and promotional emails and your complimentary access to TOT. 
We will protect your information per our privacy policy

YES -- I am ready to claim my EQ TOOLKIT

Sign up to take the quiz and receive relevant, occassional informational and promotional emails and your complimentary access to TOT. 
We will protect your information per our privacy policy

It starts with the EQ Quiz

YES! Claim my BONUS enroll me in...

9 Keys to Self-Mastery: A Taste of Type

Sign up to receive relevant, occassional informational and promotional emails and your complimentary access to TOT. 
We will protect your information per our privacy policy

Tell us where to send your access details for the recording of the...

Just the Whammies Webinar

Tell us where to send your access details for the recording of the...

Just the Whammies Webinar

Where shall we send your FREE E-Book?

Sign up to receive relevant, occassional informational and promotional emails and your free Enneagram E-Book. 
We will protect your information per our privacy policy

WELCOME,

Enjoy luxury, exclusivity and discretion

NOW TREAT YOURSELF!

Get 25% Off & Free Shipping On Your First Order. Enter Code WELL25SPE

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This

Share This

Share this post with your friends!

Scroll to Top