A Confident Life vs Life Without Grounding
Or, Why “too much of a good thing” turns people off
It might seem like it’s a no-brainer to say, “be confident,” or “live a confident life.” On the other hand, do you have any idea how many people go through life not believing they can do that? Or, they’re confident they can only go “so far,” after which their self talk defeats them. The message they hear in their heads may go something like this:
- Who do you think you are?
- You can’t do that!
- I know you’ll fail, again . . .
And so why bother?
As a client reported, life without confidence is like “floating, not doing what I want, not knowing what I want, not speaking up for myself, and it usually leads to depression.” She said:
I was a Floater.
I would “wing it;
I would just “wing it” with life.
I would blow with the wind.
I would go-along to get-along,
and live life by responding to others’ expectations.
That would turn into losing my voice,
losing my opinions,
and I would get depressed and quiet.
Removed and remote.
I would start to feel invisible . . .
and then depressed.
And then I wasn’t engaged in life at all.
This is what a lack of confidence felt like.
Why Embody the Whole Enneagram?
Enneagram type Eight embodies the essence of a natural, easy self-confidence. The ability to hold your ground and speak up for yourself. Type Eights embody the essence of what it means to listen to and honor your gut knowing, which makes decisions easier.
We all need these qualities! And it’s not just the Eights who get to have them!
After learning how to embody Eight energy, my client learned how to get grounded.
Now, she says:
When I get grounded and focused, confidence comes.
And I can answer, “Who’s the me I want to be today?”
It changes everything instantly!
Thinking, feeling, walking: I know I have a choice about who I am and how I’m being, and CONFIDENCE happens!
I’m sturdy, strong and flexible,
and I’m clear and focused.
I know what I’m supposed to be doing, where I want to go,
and I can still be flexible when I want or need to.
I HAVE A PURPOSE.
I BELONG HERE.
Which would you rather have?!
Too Much of a Good Thing
It’s true that the challenge for type Eight is unpleasant anger. But then it’s true that the challenge for ANY type is unpleasant. One of the gifts of the Eight is that they’re clear and direct and you know where they stand and where you stand with them!
“Too much of a good thing” for them means they can be so direct that others think they’re mad even when they’re not. This offends or even alienates others and challenges their relationships.
We all need to learn how to disarm are sticky challenges, often called our “fixations,” which stick like Velcro. For the Eight, it’s being overpowering, quick to get angry and being overly direct.
That does not mean you don’t want to embody type Eight energy.
You get to choose which parts to embody! I suggest you choose to embody more of the gifts.
With the EQ with Body Wisdom work, you learn how to do that, and how to disarm the challenges of all the types.
And then, as my client mentioned above said, you have a purpose, and you belong.
Learn how about how to embody more of the gifts and disarm the challenges of all the types at the EQX-Live: The Emotional Intelligence Experience.
Embody the Enneagram and increase your emotional intelligence.
Live life fully engaged.
Register now — space is limited and the early bird discount is ending soon — June 15th.